UnMarketing: Everything Has Changed and Nothing is Different
UnMarketing challenges traditional, intrusive advertising by focusing on authentic engagement. It reveals how building genuine relationships and positioning yourself as a helpful expert creates long-term brand loyalty in the digital age.

Table of Content
1. Introduction
1 min 44 sec
Stop for a second and think about the last time you felt truly excited to receive a cold call during dinner. Or consider the stack of glossy flyers stuffed into your mailbox that you immediately toss into the recycling bin without a second glance. Most of us find traditional marketing to be a nuisance at best and an infuriating intrusion at worst. Yet, for decades, businesses have operated on the assumption that if they just shout loud enough and frequently enough, someone will eventually buy what they are selling.
In the modern landscape, that model is fundamentally broken. Everything has changed because the consumer now holds the power to block, mute, and ignore anything that doesn’t provide immediate value. However, in another sense, nothing has changed: people still want to buy from people they trust and like. This is the core philosophy of UnMarketing. It is the art of stopping the ‘push’ and starting the ‘pull’ by focusing on engagement, expertise, and empathy.
Throughout this summary, we are going to explore why the traditional specialized marketing department might actually be standing in the way of your success. We will look at the ‘hierarchy of buying’ to understand why some sales happen effortlessly while others feel like pulling teeth. We will also dive into the ‘experience gap’ and see why keeping your current customers happy is far more profitable than chasing new ones. By the end of this journey, you’ll see that marketing isn’t a task you do; it’s the sum of every interaction your company has with the outside world. Let’s look at how you can transform your business by simply being more human.
2. Marketing as a Relationship
2 min 00 sec
Traditional marketing often treats customers like targets to be captured, but a more effective approach views every single interaction as a building block for a lifelong bond.
3. The Hierarchy of Buying
2 min 00 sec
Understanding why people choose to spend their money is crucial, and it turns out that price is often the least important factor when trust is involved.
4. The Dangers of the Experience Gap
1 min 59 sec
Many companies work tirelessly to attract new clients while neglecting the very people who already support them, leading to a fatal gap in service quality.
5. Establishing Authority Through Expertise
1 min 54 sec
In a world flooded with sales pitches, the person who offers genuine value and education becomes the most attractive option for potential buyers.
6. Creating Content That Works
1 min 55 sec
Sharing your knowledge requires a structured approach to ensure your message is clear, credible, and actionable for your audience.
7. The Mechanics of Viral Content
2 min 04 sec
Going viral isn’t just about luck; it’s about understanding the specific emotional triggers that compel people to share a message with their network.
8. Engagement over PR
1 min 53 sec
Social media is a conversation, not a megaphone, and companies that try to control every word often find themselves shouting into an empty room.
9. A Structured Path to Social Presence
1 min 58 sec
Building an online following requires a deliberate transition from seeking attention to building momentum and, eventually, expanding your reach.
10. Turning Complaints into Opportunities
1 min 55 sec
In the age of public feedback, how you handle a dissatisfied customer can either destroy your reputation or become your greatest marketing asset.
11. Conclusion
2 min 03 sec
As we reach the end of this exploration into UnMarketing, the central theme should be clear: the era of shouting at your customers is over. Success in the modern business world isn’t about the size of your advertising budget; it’s about the depth of your relationships. We’ve seen that marketing is not a department, but a series of moments—every email, every tweet, and every customer service call is a chance to either build trust or erode it. By understanding the hierarchy of buying, we know that moving toward a relationship-based model is the most sustainable way to grow.
We’ve also learned that expertise is a magnet. When you stop trying to sell and start trying to help, you become a resource that people naturally gravitate toward. Whether you are creating viral content that resonates emotionally or managing a public complaint with humility and grace, the goal is always the same: to be more human in a digital world. Authentic engagement is not a tactic you can ‘set and forget.’ It requires being present, being consistent, and being genuinely interested in the people who make your business possible.
To put these ideas into practice, start by looking inward rather than trying to copy the giants of your industry. It is tempting to look at what massive corporations are doing and try to mimic their moves, but you are seeing only a fraction of their strategy. Instead, turn to those around you—your trusted friends, long-time associates, and most loyal customers. Ask them for honest, unvarnished feedback on their experience with your brand. Where is the experience gap? Where could you be more helpful? By listening to the voices that truly matter and focusing on providing value one conversation at a time, you’ll find that you don’t need to ‘market’ in the traditional sense at all. Your business will speak for itself, and your customers will be more than happy to spread the word.
About this book
What is this book about?
UnMarketing is a deep dive into the philosophy that business isn't just about transactions; it’s about the human connections that happen before, during, and after a sale. Scott and Alison Stratten argue that traditional marketing methods—like cold calling and spam—are not only annoying but increasingly ineffective in a world where consumers have total control over what they consume. The book promises a roadmap for moving away from 'push' marketing and toward a strategy of engagement. It covers the 'hierarchy of buying,' the importance of content creation, and how to navigate social media without losing your brand’s soul. By prioritizing the experience of existing customers and leveraging the power of authentic conversation, businesses can build a community that doesn't just buy their products, but champions their brand.
Book Information
About the Author
Scott Stratten
Scott Stratten and his wife, Alison Stratten, are well-known guest speakers at corporate events all around the world. Scott previously worked as a professor at Sheridan College School of Business. In 2012, he was listed as number five on Forbes’s list of the world’s top 50 social-media power influencers. Together with Alison, who previously ran a maternity lingerie business, he has written four best-selling books, including UnSelling and The Book of Business (UnAwesome).
Ratings & Reviews
Ratings at a glance
What people think
Listeners find the book highly insightful and easy to follow, with one listener mentioning it serves as a solid introduction to community building principles. The work receives positive marks for its readability, with one listener even calling it the best marketing book they've read. Listeners express mixed opinions regarding the social media content.
Top reviews
Finally got around to reading this after seeing it on so many 'must-read' lists. The conversational style makes it feel less like a dry textbook and more like a late-night chat with a mentor who actually gets it. I found the core message about building relationships instead of just shouting into the void to be incredibly refreshing. Some of the social media tactics are clearly from a different era, but the foundational principles of community building are timeless. I walked away with a dozen notes and a whole new outlook on how to handle my newsletter and direct outreach.
Show moreEver wonder why your social media posts feel like shouting into a hurricane with no one listening? This book tackles that head-on by teaching you how to build a community rather than just a following. The authors use a lot of humor and down-to-earth suggestions that make the concepts easy to digest during a commute. I particularly liked the section on handling trolls, though I think that advice is a bit simplified for anyone who isn't a white male in a safe niche. Regardless, the 25 or so actionable ideas I pulled from these pages made it a great investment.
Show moreIf you are looking for a marketing book that doesn't make you want to fall asleep, this is definitely the one. It’s written more like a conversation than a lecture, and the humor throughout kept me turning the pages much faster than I usually do with business literature. I really appreciated the focus on 'un-learning' the bad habits we’ve all picked up from traditional sales training. Even though some of the social media content is a bit dated, the principles of trust and transparency are more relevant now than ever. Every business owner needs to read this to understand why their old-school marketing isn't working anymore.
Show moreThis book is probably the best entry point for anyone starting from zero in the modern digital landscape. Stratten focuses heavily on the concept of 'evangelism' and how to turn customers into fans, which is vital for small business owners today. While I would have appreciated more bulleted lists to summarize the action items, the short chapters kept me engaged through the whole thing. It’s a very quick read that cuts through the typical corporate jargon we see in this genre. Just be prepared for a very heavy focus on Twitter, which feels a bit weird in the current year.
Show moreLook, marketing books are usually a chore, but 'UnMarketing' manages to stay light on its feet with a very engaging writing style. The authors take a 'common sense' approach to digital networking that feels more human than the usual data-driven strategies. I did feel that the book was a bit haphazardly put together, jumping from big-picture philosophy to granular tactics without much of a bridge. One minute you're talking about brand integrity, and the next you're looking at specific Twitter maneuvers from seven years ago. If you can filter out the dated platforms, the heart of the book is solid gold.
Show moreAfter hearing so much about Scott Stratten's stage presence, I decided to pick this up on a whim. The 'pull' vs 'push' framework is a game changer for anyone tired of traditional, intrusive advertising methods. I loved the emphasis on being authentic and the reminder that every interaction is actually a marketing opportunity, whether we realize it or not. The chapters are bite-sized, which is perfect for busy entrepreneurs who only have ten minutes to spare between meetings. It’s a refreshing change of pace from the typical business book that usually takes 300 pages to say what could be said in fifty.
Show moreTruth is, the authors have created a manifesto for the modern era that every business owner should probably have on their shelf. The book is filled with practical, actionable suggestions that focus on the 'human' element of digital marketing rather than just the algorithms. While some of the jokes fall flat and the ego can be a bit much, the insights into how people actually interact with brands are spot on. I’ve already started implementing their suggestions regarding customer service as a marketing tool. It’s an easy, quick read that manages to be both entertaining and deeply educational for the right audience.
Show moreAs someone who has been in the marketing game for a decade, I found the 'UnMarketing' perspective to be a mix of brilliance and irritation. To be fair, Scott has a remarkable way of looking at brand engagement, but his ego frequently gets in the way of the message. Those little footnotes and asides that start off as 'funny' quickly become distracting and feel a bit self-indulgent after the tenth one. Still, the general message of stopping the 'push' marketing and starting the 'pull' is something every creator needs to hear. It’s worth a read, just skip the filler.
Show moreThe chapter on trade shows going virtual was surprisingly prophetic, but the rest of the book feels like a bit of a time capsule. Frankly, the information is starting to show its age, particularly when it comes to specific platform strategy and monetization. However, the writing remains very engaging and the core ideas about relationship building still hold up quite well under scrutiny. I found the structure a little chaotic as it bounced around between different concepts without a clear roadmap. It’s a good refresher for veterans, but new marketers should take the specific platform advice with a massive grain of salt.
Show moreNot what I expected given the hype, and honestly, the 'toxic positivity' vibe made me roll my eyes more than once. The 2017 revised edition is already ancient history in the tech world; the obsession with Twitter (now X) makes half the tactical advice completely irrelevant for someone trying to launch on TikTok or Instagram today. It felt like the authors were trying too hard to be the 'cool kids' of marketing, which came off as forced and slightly arrogant. I’m giving it two stars because the evergreen principles about being a decent human in business are still okay, but there are better, more current options out there.
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