101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged: Essential Inquiries for Lasting Love

My fiancé and I have been together for three years, and we honestly thought we knew everything about each other. This book proved us wrong in the best way possible. It isn't just a list of surface-level queries; it dives into things like childhood discipline and how we envision our faith playing a role in our future home. Some of the questions about family dynamics and past relationship baggage were a bit uncomfortable, but they sparked the most productive conversations we’ve ever had. I personally think the section on financial expectations is worth the price of the book alone. It really helped us align our visions before the wedding planning chaos started. If you're serious about building a lasting foundation, grab this.

Absolutely a must-read! My partner and I used this during our long-distance phase and it kept us connected on a level I didn't think was possible through a screen. We'd take three or four questions a night and just talk for hours. It really forces you to look at the 'boring' but essential parts of a life together—like how to manage household duties or what 'personal space' actually looks like to you. I’m naturally a bit more reserved, so having a structured list helped me open up about my apprehensions regarding marriage without feeling like I was being interrogated. It’s more than just a book; it’s a journey toward really seeing your partner for who they are.

Best pre-engagement tool out there. Period. It's concise, direct, and doesn't pull punches. My boyfriend and I are now officially engaged, and I truly believe the clarity we got from this book gave him the confidence to pop the question. We were able to discuss things like 'where do we see ourselves in ten years' without it feeling like an awkward interview. Some questions are fun, some are tough, but all of them are necessary if you want a marriage that actually lasts beyond the honeymoon phase. I’ve already bought two more copies to give as gifts to my friends who are dating.

This book changed everything for us. We were struggling with some major differences in our parenting philosophies and how we wanted to handle our parents as we got older. Wright provides a safe framework to talk through those 'taboo' subjects. I felt like the questions about 'room for growth' really helped us approach our weaknesses with grace instead of defensiveness. It’s amazing how much you can overlook when you're in love, and this book is like a flashlight pointing out the things you need to see. It’s honest, it’s grounded in faith, and it’s incredibly helpful for anyone serious about a lifelong commitment.

This is a solid resource for any couple looking to move toward engagement, though you definitely need to keep in mind it’s written from a very traditional Christian perspective. While that worked for us, I can see how it might be a bit much for some. The questions are broken down logically, covering everything from 'fun' dating topics to the heavy-hitting stuff like parenting philosophies and handling conflict. I felt some of the earlier questions were a bit repetitive, and maybe a little too basic if you've already been dating for a long time. However, the depth it eventually reaches regarding 'red flags' and spiritual alignment is truly valuable. It’s a quick read but a long conversation starter.

Very practical and easy to digest. We didn't agree with every single point Wright made—especially some of the more traditional views on roles—but the questions themselves are fantastic prompts. I really appreciated the focus on 'the training and admonition of God' in the parenting section, as that's a priority for us. It covers the big stuff like debt and 'habitual sin' which most people are too scared to bring up over dinner. I do wish there were more space in the book to write down our reflections together, but we just used a separate journal. Definitely worth it if you want to make sure you're on the same page.

I’m not even dating anyone right now, but I picked this up out of curiosity and I’m glad I did. It really made me reflect on my past relationships and where they went wrong because we didn't ask these types of questions. The author emphasizes that marital satisfaction is tied to how well you know someone before the 'I do,' and that makes total sense. My only critique is that it's very heavily Christian, which might alienate some readers who would otherwise benefit from the relationship advice. It’s a great reality check for anyone who tends to get swept up in the 'infatuation' stage without doing their due diligence.

I have mixed feelings about this one. On one hand, Norman Wright clearly knows his stuff when it comes to marriage counseling, and the metaphor of 'checking the history of a car' before buying it really resonates. On the other hand, so many of these questions felt like things we had already covered in the first six months of dating. 'What are your hobbies?' and 'What music do you like?' felt like filler. I was hoping for more coaching on how to handle the answers when they don't align perfectly. It felt a little bit like a pass/fail test at times rather than a tool for growth. It’s okay, but maybe better for younger couples or those who haven't spent much time together yet.

The book is fine, but it’s definitely 'Dating 101' in many parts. If you've been in a serious relationship for more than a year, you’ve probably already discussed 60 of these 101 questions. I found myself flipping through pages trying to find the 'deep' stuff Wright mentions in the intro. When you finally get to the questions about conflict resolution and childhood trauma, it gets much better. I just wish it didn't take so long to get there. It’s a decent starting point for couples who struggle to communicate, but seasoned couples might find it a bit repetitive or even inane at points.

Honestly, this book felt a bit cynical to me. The introduction makes it sound like you're just looking for reasons to break up rather than building a life together. If you or your partner aren't naturally articulate, this book might make you feel like you're failing a compatibility test. Some of the questions are so specific to a certain type of Christian upbringing that they didn't feel applicable to our situation at all. I think the intent is good, but the execution feels rigid and a little dated. I’d recommend looking for a guide that focuses more on emotional intelligence and less on checking boxes for a 'perfect' spouse history.