19 min 38 sec

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

By Katherine May

Wintering explores the restorative necessity of life's difficult periods. By looking to nature's rhythms, Katherine May shows how we can embrace rest, retreat, and reflection to transform our 'personal winters' into seasons of renewal.

Table of Content

We often think of our lives as a linear progression toward a sunnier, more productive future. We celebrate the brightness of summer and the growth of spring, but when the shadows lengthen and the temperature drops, we tend to resist. We treat the cold as an enemy to be defeated or an inconvenience to be ignored. Yet, in the natural world, winter is not a mistake; it is a necessity. It is the phase of the cycle where life retreats into itself to conserve, to rest, and eventually, to transform.

Learning to ‘winter’ is the art of accepting these inevitable periods of darkness and cold—not just as they occur in the weather, but as they manifest in our own lives. Whether triggered by a sudden illness, the loss of a loved one, a career setback, or a general sense of being overwhelmed, these ‘personal winters’ are as certain as the turning of the earth. When we try to fight them, we only exhaust ourselves. But when we look to nature, we find a different blueprint. We see that every plant and animal has a strategy for surviving the frost, and by extension, so can we.

In this exploration, we will look at how to stop resisting the inevitable and start finding the restorative power in the quiet, the dark, and the cold. We will discover why preparation is the key to resilience, how our ancestors understood rest far better than we do today, and what the wild creatures can teach us about the strength of community. This is a journey into the heart of the fallow season, where we learn that the work done in the dark is what makes the spring possible.

When life takes an unexpected turn toward hardship, we often feel like we’ve failed. But what if we viewed these moments as natural seasons of the soul rather than personal failures?

In Finland, the approach of winter is met with a specific set of traditions called talvitelat. Discover why preparing for the cold is a mindful act of self-care.

Modern technology has erased the natural boundary between day and night. Exploring our history reveals a more restorative way to sleep and reflect.

In the depths of the dark, rituals provide a bridge to others. How ancient and modern traditions help us navigate the longest nights.

Wolves are often depicted as the villains of winter. But looking closer at their behavior reveals a reflection of our own human appetites.

We usually see snow and ice as obstacles. But for those who embrace the chill, winter weather becomes a path to mindfulness and resilience.

Bees and ants survive the winter through radical cooperation. Their behavior challenges the idea that hardship is something we must face alone.

Winter is not just a season; it’s an acquired skill. Learn how to treat your periods of retreat as a vital preparation for future growth.

In the end, wintering is a call to align ourselves with the true rhythm of life. It is an invitation to put down the heavy burden of constant productivity and to trust in the restorative power of the dark. We have seen that while the frost may be bitter, it is also a teacher. It shows us the value of preparation, the necessity of deep rest, and the vital importance of huddling together for warmth.

As you move forward, try to look at your own difficult seasons not as obstacles to be overcome, but as spaces to be inhabited. When you feel the ‘chill’ of a personal winter, don’t rush to turn up the heat and pretend nothing has changed. Instead, consider what it means to lie fallow. What are the small, quiet joys you can cultivate in the dark? Who can you huddle with?

Remember that the natural world is always moving, and no season—no matter how harsh—lasts forever. The work you do now, in the quiet and the cold, is exactly what is required to welcome the spring when it eventually arrives. Embrace the fallow time, for it is there that you find the strength to bloom again.

About this book

What is this book about?

Wintering is a profound meditation on the seasons of life that feel cold, dark, and difficult. Drawing from her own experiences with illness and family upheaval, Katherine May argues that we have lost the essential art of 'wintering'—the ability to retreat and recover when life hits a breaking point. The book weaves together memoir, natural history, and cultural observations to show that the fallow periods of our lives are not failures, but biological and psychological necessities. From the sleep patterns of our ancestors to the survival strategies of honeybees, May provides a guide for navigating periods of transition and grief. The 'promise' of the book is that by leaning into the cold rather than fighting it, we can emerge from our struggles with a deeper sense of resilience and a renewed capacity for joy. It is a heartfelt call to slow down and find the hidden beauty in life’s most challenging moments.

Book Information

Rating:

Genra:

Biographies & Memoirs, Mental Health & Wellbeing, Personal Development

Topics:

Burnout, Happiness, Mindfulness, Resilience, Stress

Publisher:

Penguin Random House

Language:

English

Publishing date:

January 1, 2020

Lenght:

19 min 38 sec

About the Author

Katherine May

Katherine May is a writer of both fiction and nonfiction who has a particular fascination with the rhythms of the natural world. Her other books include The Electricity of Every Living Thing and The Whitstable High Tide Swimming Club. She was formerly director of the creative writing program at Canterbury Christ Church University.

More from Katherine May

Ratings & Reviews

Ratings at a glance

4.4

Overall score based on 105 ratings.

What people think

Listeners find the book deeply insightful and well-crafted, with beautiful imagery that makes it a perfect selection for the colder months. The work resonates with listeners, including one who mentions how it validates their feelings, and they appreciate its restorative power as a meditative piece. While some listeners feel comforted by it, others call it depressing, and perspectives on readability are mixed, with some finding it captivating while others find it dull.

Top reviews

Duang

As someone who struggles every December with the literal and metaphorical cold, this book felt like a warm blanket. May’s exploration of 'wintering' as a necessary phase of life rather than a problem to be solved is deeply healing. I particularly loved the sections on how nature prepares for the cold—the details about dormice hibernation and honeybee clusters were fascinating. It helped me reframe my own insomnia not as a failure, but as a 'watch,' a sacred space for contemplation. The prose is velvety and profound, especially when she discusses the restorative power of sleep and the need for liminal spaces. I’ve already bought three copies to give as gifts for my more reflective friends. This isn't just a book; it’s an invitation to stop fighting the seasons of our lives and start listening to what they have to teach us. Simply beautiful.

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Wichai

Wow. This book was exactly the meditative experience I needed after a year of non-stop hustle. I picked it up right after the Winter Solstice, and May’s voice was so soothing that it felt like a form of therapy. The way she draws parallels between human suffering and the natural world—like the way trees drop their leaves to survive the frost—is just brilliant. I found the images she created to be so vivid; I can still picture the 'hoof-like black buds' of the ash trees she describes. It’s a book about validation, about allowing yourself to be fallow for a while without feeling guilty. While some might find her lifestyle a bit privileged, I think the underlying message is universal. We all go through winters. We all need to learn how to survive them. This book provides a gentle, poetic framework for doing exactly that. Highly recommended for anyone needing a soul-repair.

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Oksana

Ever wonder why we feel the need to be productive every single second of the year? Katherine May’s 'Wintering' provides a much-needed answer to that question, framed through the lens of nature’s own cycles of retreat and rest. I found the nature-based metaphors—specifically the social structure of honeybees and the deep sleep of dormice—to be incredibly moving. It’s a meditative piece that validates the times in our lives when we simply cannot 'go' anymore. For me, the chapter on St. Lucy’s Day and the importance of ritual during the darkest months was a standout. The writing is almost poetic, creating beautiful images of frosty fields and dark, velvety nights that stayed with me long after I closed the cover. Truth is, this book isn't a roadmap with easy steps; it’s a companion for the seasons of life that feel cold and barren. It reminded me that fallowing is a necessary part of growth.

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Nit

Finally, a book that validates the feeling of wanting to disappear under the covers for three months! Katherine May’s writing is nearly poetic, and she captures the 'profound and velvety' darkness of winter so well. I loved the way she wove natural history—like the hibernation of dormice—into her own personal story of burnout and recovery. It’s a very soothing read that doesn’t demand anything from the reader other than a bit of reflection. I found it to be incredibly healing, especially the parts about learning to welcome the 'liminal spaces' in our lives. Unlike many self-help books that offer a 10-step plan to happiness, this one just sits with you in the cold. It’s an authentic, honest look at the seasons of the soul. I’ll definitely be revisiting this one every time the leaves start to fall. It’s a new favorite for sure.

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Om

After seeing this book all over my social media feed, I finally dipped into 'Wintering' during a particularly gray week. I was immediately struck by May’s ability to find color in the bleakest landscapes—she describes the reds of bracken and rose hips with such precision that you can almost feel the frost. It’s a quiet, insightful read that functions more like a long-form essay than a traditional memoir. While I found some of her personal anecdotes about traveling to Iceland a bit removed from the average person's reality, the core message about leaning into the 'suckiness' of life's transitions is powerful. The writing style is nearly poetic, making it a perfect companion for anyone feeling a bit burnt out. My only real gripe is that it feels a bit stretched out in the middle, as if the author was trying to hit a page count. Still, it’s a beautiful, soothing piece of work that offers a lot of comfort.

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Aubrey

Picked this up during a particularly rough patch, and it provided a lot of much-needed comfort. I really appreciated the author's focus on ritual—her description of the St. Lucy’s Day mass was so evocative that I actually looked up local services. There’s something very grounded about the way she discusses mental health and the 'thaw' that eventually follows a period of darkness. To be fair, the book is quite British in its sensibilities, which I personally enjoyed, but I can see how it might feel a bit ethnocentric to some readers. Some of the anecdotes about homeschooling and cold-water swimming felt a bit like fillers, but the overall tone is so gentle that I didn't mind too much. It’s a great read for a cold night with a cup of tea. It reminds you that the light always comes back, even when you can’t see it yet.

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Pairot

Is it a self-help guide or a personal memoir? Katherine May can’t seem to decide, and the result is a somewhat jumbled collection of anecdotes that don't always connect. At times, the book is incredibly powerful—the penultimate section about her 'lost voice' and the disconnect from her own body resonated with me on a very visceral level. However, other parts felt like they were just there to fill space. I found the chapters on her trips to Norway and Iceland to be quite dry, almost like reading someone’s vacation blog. She touches on her autism diagnosis, but it’s so fleetingly mentioned that I felt a bit cheated out of a deeper perspective. The writing itself is technically excellent, with some truly stunning sentences, but the structure is disjointed. It’s a bit of a mixed bag. I liked it, but I didn't love it as much as the hype suggested I would.

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Somchai

To be fair, May writes with an elegance that is rare in the self-help genre, but I’m not entirely sure this book knows what it wants to be. Is it a memoir about her autism diagnosis and medical struggles? Or is it a nature guide? The narrative felt very disjointed, bouncing from Stonehenge to Norway without much connective tissue to hold the themes together. I loved the section 'Song'—her exploration of losing her voice was the most authentic and grounded part of the entire book—but the rest felt a bit like navel-gazing. There’s an undeniable air of privilege here that makes it hard to relate to if you can't afford to take months off for 'introspection.' Still, there are some gems here about the necessity of rest and the beauty of a cold climate. It's a decent read for a snowy afternoon, but don't expect it to change your life if you're looking for practical solutions.

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Sai

Look, the writing is undeniably gorgeous, but this book felt like a parade of middle-class narcissism. I found it incredibly difficult to sympathize with someone whose response to a minor life hurdle is to preserve radishes in expensive gin or jet off to see the Aurora. Most people who are 'wintering'—dealing with real grief, illness, or job loss—don't have the luxury of swanning around Stonehenge. The author seems almost entirely unconscious of her privilege, which makes her philosophical musings feel hollow and even a bit condescending. The chapter where she tries to interpret Finnish sauna culture was particularly off-putting; it felt like cultural appropriation mixed with a lack of basic research. While she has some astute observations about natural history, the 'self-help' aspect is practically nonexistent for anyone who actually has a mortgage to pay. It’s a beautiful-looking book that ultimately lacks the depth and relatability I was hoping for.

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Bua

Frankly, I found the author's take on winter almost unrecognizable. As a Canadian who deals with months of sub-zero temperatures and actual survival, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the 'revelation' that it gets dark early in the afternoon. She makes a massive production out of children playing outside in Finland as if it’s some mystical feat rather than just... Tuesday. The chapter on the sauna in an English leisure center was particularly grating; it felt like a weird, humorless experiment that missed the cultural point entirely. While the prose is technically 'better than average,' the tone reeks of a specific kind of middle-class narcissism that assumes everyone can just quit their job and jet off to Iceland when they feel a bit sad. It’s hard to find the 'wisdom' when the author seems so disconnected from the reality of people who actually have to work through the cold. A jumbled collection of anecdotes that never quite lands.

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